You Know You're a Celiac If....

• you've ever had to give a doctor a crash course in Celiac 101
• a 7 course meal is a 1 course meal for you. Lettuce.
• you've glared at friends in envy while they dig fork first into a birthday cake, while lying about "being ok with it"
• you've disowned loved ones because they put their gluten-y knife in your peanut butter jar
• you pack an extra suitcase filled with food when you go on trips
• your friends think you're crazy for not trying the amazing cupcakes at the dining hall. Surely a little taste couldn't hurt?
• you become very good a labeling everything as "gluten free ONLY"
• you've had dreams about Wonder Bread
• you've had nightmares in which you give into temptation and eat an entire baguette. 
• you get extremely heated anytime something like a chicken dish has unnecessary gluten in it. Like, really? Why do people feel the need to put gluten in everything??!
• you read the ingredients in literally everything. Including single ingredient items like honey and green tea. Just in case.
• it bugs you when people say they "understand what you are going through" when they are vegetarian or on a "real food" diet.
• you've refused things as simple as gum and candies because it would take too much effort to figure out if it's gluten free.
• people insist on cooking/baking you something gluten free but you plead them not to, knowing that the risk of cross contamination of too high for you to eat it comfortably. 
• you circulate to the same five restaurants because you know that you can eat there safely, and it is too much research to try and find a new restaurant. 
• you've mastered the art of lying when people ask if you are hungry
• you look at other peoples' fridges and pantries just to see what normal people eat, and you try to remember the last time you ate those foods.
• you eat before you go out to eat with friends
• you compare all your food to "normal people food" 
• you can locate the words "gluten free" within 5 seconds of looking at a food item
• you watch in wonder as someone eats a big plate of spaghetti. Oh, the things that would happen if you were doing that. 
• you put on gloves when you are forced to make non gluten free food for a party
• you are probably the only college student who regularly shops at Whole Foods just because you know that no matter what, you will be accepted there.
• you feel awkward trying to order pizza with friends because they will have to pay like $5 extra each so that you can get the gluten free pizza. Which is half the size of the normal pizzas.
• you've ordered just a side of rice and vegetables at a restaurant before.
• you'll hug people with a cough and a runny nose but you won't let a person with a cookie touch you. 
• you buy the overpriced gluten free pumpkin loaf at your local coffeehouse just because they have it and you want to express your appreciation. 

What "You Know You're a Celiac When..."s have you come upon?

Recipe: Hellfire Curry Chicken

Holy smokes, people. I'll warn you right now by letting you know that this recipe is NOT for the faint of heart... or stomach. You should also know that I, myself, am among said faint of heart- this one was pretty much past my spice limit. *hangs my head in shame*. My spice-tolerant mother seemed to certainly enjoy it enough, claiming that the spiciness was right at the top of her tolerance level. Not to say I didn't enjoy it- its just that I was at that stuff-your-face hunger point and the heat was making this more difficult than usual. SO, just know that this recipe is fab if you wanna spice up your life, or your tongue. For those of us who like our Indian food to be a little more American-palette-friendly, I've included modified ingredients for certain components of the recipe. You're welcome.

Ingredients: (Serves 4)
-3 chicken breasts cut up into chunks
-1 red pepper & 1 green pepper cut into slivers
-1/2 a white onion
-14 oz coconut milk*
-6 oz Panang curry paste**
-Spoonful of peanut butter
-cayenne pepper***
-2 tbsp garlic (about 3 cloves)
-2 tbsp chicken stock
-white rice

* I would suggest having some extra on hand; when you taste the curry mixture, add some more in if it's still too spicy
**3-4 oz if less spice is wanted. This type of curry might be harder to find in your average grocery store- I found it at my Central Market in the Asian/International food section. If you can't find this, it's no problem to go ahead and try it with other types of curry paste.
*** Leave out if wanted less spicy

Step 1: Start cooking the rice- or be cool like me and use handy dandy 5 Min rice and wait till the end to cook it!


Step 2: Season the cubed chicken breast with some salt, pepper, and cayenne pepper. Cook in a large (and I mean large... you'll see why) skillet.

Step 3: Move the cooked chicken out of the pan and transfer it somewhere. It doesn't have to be warmed as it will be added into a hot bubbling brew in just a bit.
Step 4: In the same pan, saute the garlic and onion for about a minute. This is when the kitchen really starts smelling delish.

Step 5: Add the curry paste into the pan. This may take a while for the paste to boil down to a liquid, but it helps to stir it consistently for a while.

Step 6: Add half the coconut milk, stir in the peanut butter, put in some cayenne pepper, add in the chicken stock, and then the rest of the coconut milk. This separation of adding the coconut milk is vital for helping even out the amount of spice. This makes it so that you won't take one bite of bland blandiness, then a next bite of pure hellfire.

Step 7: Simmer the bubbly goodness for about a minute. Fiery bubbles of red might pop up in the brew: this is when I started shaking in my boots. But if you went with the spicy version, you asked for it.

Step 8: Fold in the chicken cubes carefully.

This is what Indian food is all about

Step 9: Plate the rice and spoon the curry mixture over the rice for a neat and enticing presentation. OR just scoop it all on lunch-lady style if you couldn't care less about plate presentation. For the sake of pictures, I tried to be neat and tidy. I should mention that I was planning on adding some chickpeas into the curry mix, but after buying the dried, I realized that they should soak overnight so that plan failed. However, if you have access to canned chickpeas or chickpeas that have been soaked, that would be mucho delicioso.

Looks innocent right? THINK AGAIN!

 My stomach was on fire. My brain was on fire. My pinky toe was on fire. BUT it tasted good. So good that I didn't want to stop eating it despite certain body parts protesting against me. I will for sure try this again, just less spicy next time.

Keep the milk at arms reach. Dad is suffering.